The natural tendency is to care so damn much that we actually create more trouble/problems. Letting go, as you say is really the only way so long as it is done within the framework of love, attention and unwavering support. Very easy to say all this. VERY hard to practice. A friend of mine once said to me in relation to my concerns for my son, "just get out of the way." And while I know this is intellectually and spiritually the right thing to do, the practice of it is making me dig deeper than I ever have before into myself with all manner of questions about my own growing up, my standards (which need to be destroyed) and how to break the cycle of karma that is so alive in us all the time. So, I'm doing my damnedest to hold steadfast in my convictions to support his unique path however it comes to him. It can be rough!
To your point Chris, we're fighting the accumulation of what our parents did to us, and we're also projecting our own unlived aspects on our kids.
Then, we also have this battle of "getting out of the way," and "being too involved."
I agree that we don't want to get in the way - but I also sense that when we see what fires up our kids - what draws out their true nature - there is a responsibility in letting them know we see that in them, and having to go for it.
I remember my dad, who always wanted to be a director, saying to me: the directors who get their films made - they fucking want it. They don't take no for an answer - and I haven't forgotten that.
The natural tendency is to care so damn much that we actually create more trouble/problems. Letting go, as you say is really the only way so long as it is done within the framework of love, attention and unwavering support. Very easy to say all this. VERY hard to practice. A friend of mine once said to me in relation to my concerns for my son, "just get out of the way." And while I know this is intellectually and spiritually the right thing to do, the practice of it is making me dig deeper than I ever have before into myself with all manner of questions about my own growing up, my standards (which need to be destroyed) and how to break the cycle of karma that is so alive in us all the time. So, I'm doing my damnedest to hold steadfast in my convictions to support his unique path however it comes to him. It can be rough!
It's impossibly challenging.
To your point Chris, we're fighting the accumulation of what our parents did to us, and we're also projecting our own unlived aspects on our kids.
Then, we also have this battle of "getting out of the way," and "being too involved."
I agree that we don't want to get in the way - but I also sense that when we see what fires up our kids - what draws out their true nature - there is a responsibility in letting them know we see that in them, and having to go for it.
I remember my dad, who always wanted to be a director, saying to me: the directors who get their films made - they fucking want it. They don't take no for an answer - and I haven't forgotten that.
They shine when they are heard/seen/appreciated. You are 100% correct about this.