What is the real source of the anxiety? Is it a quest to know oneself? Or, more the quest to become someone that you actually like and respect? At some point, we must see that all this striving is unhealthy. If we can learn to be in the flow without trying to make something of it, then we'll be in the right frame of mind to be with our loved ones. Your sons will teach you, as you teach them. As you help them to become adults, they will help you discover the child in you that longs to live free. I'm glad you have begun this journey. We will all benefit from it. Thank you.
At this age, you are a friend, a buddy, a playmate, a protector. Setting boundaries inevitably creates some conflict with that perception. A turning point comes as they become more independent and want to make their own decisions. This is when I began treating my children as adults. With every question, we’d talk it through, instead of me giving them the definitive answer.The older they got the closer we became. Now, they are like my best friends because there are no secrets. T
I love that. Sometimes I just find it hard to talk with them - without knowing what to say. It's almost as if I can speak to anyone else, but speaking with them is hard. I love your idea of letting them come to me. You articulate that so beautifully.
What is the real source of the anxiety? Is it a quest to know oneself? Or, more the quest to become someone that you actually like and respect? At some point, we must see that all this striving is unhealthy. If we can learn to be in the flow without trying to make something of it, then we'll be in the right frame of mind to be with our loved ones. Your sons will teach you, as you teach them. As you help them to become adults, they will help you discover the child in you that longs to live free. I'm glad you have begun this journey. We will all benefit from it. Thank you.
Ed, as always, you get it - and I’m grateful for your wisdom and support.
More importantly, I think your boys get it.
At this age, you are a friend, a buddy, a playmate, a protector. Setting boundaries inevitably creates some conflict with that perception. A turning point comes as they become more independent and want to make their own decisions. This is when I began treating my children as adults. With every question, we’d talk it through, instead of me giving them the definitive answer.The older they got the closer we became. Now, they are like my best friends because there are no secrets. T
I love that. Sometimes I just find it hard to talk with them - without knowing what to say. It's almost as if I can speak to anyone else, but speaking with them is hard. I love your idea of letting them come to me. You articulate that so beautifully.
Ed, I’d love to hear what you mean by that.